It’s been a tough last few days in the circus as I keep on searching for silver linings in the dark clouds that passed over us.
Tomorrow we reassemble on stage in Bristol at the 02 with Tony Turrell on keyboards. He’s been doing his homework and arrives for rehearsals at midday. Robin and Steve have filled him in on all the keys and sounds etc so we will be edgy but confident as we all know Tony T more than capable of learning and playing material at short notice.
It was sad to say goodbye to John Beck who was a forlorn figure on the ferry over to Dover. Watching him weave his lonely way along the upper decks that were rising and falling in the heavy Channel sea raked by 70 mph winds you couldn’t but help feel for him.
We’d been stuck in Calais for over 4 hours waiting to board and cabin fever was setting in having been trapped on the bus for the last 16 hours with only very occasional pauses in truck stops for relief and basic foodstuffs. It was a tough day for everyone and we all tried to mask our severe disappointment at losing the 3 Dutch shows.
The announcement of the replacement dates in April with the Groningen show moving to the bigger hall as it was now available gave me a lift as did the chance of 5 days to rest my voice before the UK shows.. With 5 shows to be replaced I’ve decided to extend the tour by adding a few more dates in areas we missed on this run to take it up to around a month on the road from 18th April onwards.
I have already asked Tony Turrell to continue on keyboards as John Beck is at least 3 months in recovery and will need extensive physio on his hand to get back to full fitness. We both agreed that banking on him being able to play by April was too much of a gamble.
He left the bus at 6am on Monday morning after we had parked up in Folkestone around 2 in a coach and lorry park where we could get power to the bus for the night’s stopover. Alastair, Vince and Robin left with John for the rain up to London and beyond while Steve, Gavin and Angus came with us to Bristol for their trains home for the couple of days we had off before the 02 rehearsals and gig.
Only Tara, Yatta and I stayed in the Travellodge and we were all desperate for a shower to get rid of the second skin that had grown under our grimy clothes.My throat was scratchy and my nose blocked from the near 36 hours of traveling in the bus which by the time we arrived in the city felt like a submarine. I walked up the corridor to my room still anticipating the swell of the ferry deck and the rolling of the bus in the winds that battered us along the motorway.
The shower was pure ecstasy and I ignored the box that would be home for the next couple of days focusing on the welcoming double bed and the promise of star shapes later. None of the remaining trio fancied going out in the rain and cold and we elected for the basic hotel fare of pie and mash and a bottle of wine ( a lot cheaper than the £40 for the same meal for Tara and I on the midnight ferry ).
A catch up on ‘I’m a Celebrity’ in my room with a bottle of wine from the hotel bar before the eyelids collapsed and I slipped under the heavenly duvet. I hoped that I’d be waking up in the morning to no more dramas and a relatively stress free day for a change.I needed some chill time and rest.
Tara makes her hotel room her home. I’m truly amazed at just how much stuff she carries around.
First day off lunch at 3 with Tara and Yatta on the Glassboat restaurant up from hotel. My first turkey dinner of the season. Barbers for a trim then holed up in hotel until later when a windswept Lazuli arrived to take us out for a fantastic curry in town.
The evening came to a close after meeting up at the hotel with my dear friend Andy Fox for an interview together with Romaine and Dom from Lazuli for his GTFM/BCFM Rockshow.
Bed around midnight then up at 1 next afternoon again. Felt a bit throaty so a long trudge up town to pick up supplies from Holland and Barrett to ward of any potential incoming. Bought some Christmas presents with Tara before some ramen noodles and another hole up in the hotel room.
It’s the first time I’ve actually had a chance to have a decent wander around this city despite visiting it on tours over the years. It’s a really beautiful place especially around the market areas where I could have spent hours investigating the stalls.
Really wary of keeping myself in shape for the next 8 gigs and trying not to get stressed out about them. Not sure whether to head out for food tonight or just eat in and have a really early night. Pressure is most definitely on to get through these UK shows in style.
It’s with deep regret and sadness that I have to announce that the 3 Dutch shows in Groningen, Tilburg and Amsterdam have to be rescheduled after John Beck our keyboard player broke his arm after tripping and falling over outside our hotel last night.
He has badly fractured his right arm at the elbow as well as fracturing a major bone in his right hand. The hand injury is serious and may have long term implications. His arm is in a cast for 6 weeks and he has been told the hand may take a further 6 weeks to properly heal.
The UK tour will go ahead with Tony Turrell taking over on keyboards. Tony already knows the set apart from ‘Feast of Consequences’ and ‘Pipeline’ having played in the band line up during the ‘Return to Childhood ‘ tour. He is a highly capable player and we are both supremely confident that we will have the set together and rehearsed by the Bristol 02 Academy show in 6 days time.
The 3 Dutch shows are being rescheduled for April and I will be able to announce the new dates later today.
I sincerely apologise for any inconvenience caused and appreciate that these gigs have been hugely anticipated by a lot of people some of whom have made special travel arrangements to attend.
This unforeseen accident has totally taken the wind out of our sails just as we had regained momentum over the last 8 shows and about to play 3 completely sold out Dutch gigs on the way back home to a sold out UK tour.
I am indebted to Tony Turrell who has stepped in at extremely short notice and without whom I could have been staring at a far bigger problem. The UK tour is unaffected and all dates will go ahead as scheduled.
John is obviously despondent about his injury which has ruled out any playing for the foreseeable future and we all wish him well in his long recovery and hope that there are no long term implications.
Great gig in Saarbrucken last night and 30 years to the day when I played a venue only 10 klicks away in Volklingen on the original ‘Misplaced’ tour.
That gig is a haze in a maze in a fuzzy memory bank and I ached up the stairs to the dressing rooms to park myself in a room in a another city I wouldn’t discover until the night dropped like a stage curtain. Holed up in another shared space biding my time.
I wasn’t feeling particularly confident pre show as my voice was a bit ragged at the top end and despite a lengthy warm up it took 3 numbers for it to settle down and become flexible. The onstage sound wasn’t helping as the huge dome above us created all sorts of issues which thankfully weren’t a problem out front as Alastair had it under control. The 1300 people who filled the venue soaked up the reverb that had made for an awkward soundcheck and greeted us on stage with a mighty roar that immediately lifted me.
‘Pipeline’ saw a raft of hands in the air and I knew we were going to have a good night despite my initial anxiety about the voice. It was an energetic and appreciative crowd who were more than willing to participate any chance that came along.
There were quite a few mini mistakes and fluffs on stage but the energy was good and covered the traces as only rock music can when delivered with spirit.
‘Feast’ and ‘Family business’ both hit the spot and it was obvious this audience were no strangers to the solo catalogue. The intro to ‘Perception’ was well received and the song delivered with strong emotions that resonated with the crowd.
Needless to say the intro to ‘Misplaced’ was met with a massive cheer and we soared into the album with everyone out front lifting us ever higher through the sections. By the time we hit ‘Childhood’s End’ we were peaking and I don’t think there was anyone out in front of us who didn’t have their hands in the air. It was an awesome sight. At the end of ‘Feather’ and on the final rally the roar was immense and a wall of energy hit us detonating huge smiles all round.
A deep breath behind the stage and then ‘Market Square’ picked everyone back up again for another ride. A weary descent down the rickety stairs and the wine was opened before the final push. ‘The Company’ was the perfect send off with good ballet dancing skills included. A really great result that I hadn’t quite expected earlier.
It was Dominic’s last gig with us and the perfect farewell for him. Despite his dartboard tour routing that had ‘G’ our driver shaking his head at times he did a great job standing in for Yatta and at the end of the night he dutifully handed over the official Mag-light torch that is the staff of command to Vince.
We had an hour to wait on bus driver’s hours to kick in and diddly bopped to an Irish Bar a few minutes away for some welcome pints of Guiness with the Lazuli boys who’ve been putting in some serious hours following us in their camper van. Dominic bought the round and we all had a group photo taken before we sauntered back to the bus and a tipple in the downstairs lounge after big farewell hugs with our ever smiling German tour rep.
I flipped the bunk relatively early and racked up 6 hours of Zeds before waking just as we entered Dutch air space. Day off in Groningen and 2 nights in a decent hotel are more than welcome and much needed.The ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign is on the door.
Our stand in production manager Dominic Droese yesterday backstage in Oldenburg. He is a lot more rock and roll than this picture implies and had to endure Tara’s revenge after pocketing her i phone while under the influence on the bus leaving her in a panic that it had been left in the dressing room the night before. His bunk was taped up like a spiders web using ‘gaffer tape’ after he had had a few ‘libations’ in the downstairs lounge. Not what anyone wants to fight through to get to bed while wasted on a moving bus.It was his last night with us as we move to Holland and a returning Yatta tomorrow after tonight’s show in Saarbrucken.
The band played well last night and I had a good voice on song in a room that Alastair had concocted a great sound in. The problem was that it was our first seated venue of the tour and the crowd energies were low in the main. It would have been a better venue for a Fishheads Club show rather than the rock vibe we have just now. It was pointless getting the crowd on their feet in the early stages and I had to wait till ‘Perimeter walk’ to rack up the interaction and keep them up till the end of ‘Childhood’ where we took a great response. I enjoyed the show but it was tough going to get the crowd up to our level and I think that apart from some die hard fans indicated by old T shirts from Vigil days and beyond I don’t think the crowd generally were that aware of the solo material. It felt like playing to a theatre crowd rather than a rock audience.
I heard later that they had been told to remain seated for ‘fire regulations’ and perhaps people were a bit intimidated and self conscious thus the lack of involvement. Never the mind we had a great time on a tight stage that restricted my dancing moves and made me very self conscious about protruding drum and keyboard risers and monitors always threatening tumbledown moments. My back slipped towards the end and I had to sit down a couple of times to straighten things up. It looks like I will be revisiting the clinic in Amsterdam for some more injections in a few days.
One strange moment was when someone walked up to put a small plastic bucket on the front of the stage during ‘Misplaced’. I couldn’t for the life of me make out what it was and it looked like it held white tissue paper. It wasn’t the time or place during the performance to check it out and it started to give me the creeps as it was placed without a word being said and the person immediately disappeared from sight.I picked it up as we left after ‘Childhood’s End’ to discover on examination backstage that it was full of white sugar mice with the artwork from the single glued onto the bucket. A weird gift but to whoever presented it thanks from the downstairs bus lounge for the munchies! smile emoticon
And now a darkening Saarbrucken where I would have loved to have revisited one of my favourite steam rooms in Europe if not for lack of time today. A wander in the streets after dinner and soundcheck and some gluhweins at the Weinachtsmarkt before show seems to be the order of the evening. Big crowd tonight with again over 1000 expected. Looking forward to the day off in Groningen tomorrow.
Friedberg heralded the return of the voice although I admit to being very nervous pre show as to whether I’d stand up to the strain of a full show. I elected to drop “Long Cold Day” from the set and warmed up the voice before sound check and the gig.
It was an emotional night for all concerned and Paris was on everyone’s mind. I stood out front for most of ‘Lazuli” set and had a few tears as they delivered a beautiful eulogy before a passionate collection of songs that energised the room.
The local promoter’s had booked another support band who foolishly went on after ‘Lazuli’. Despite playing a shortened set our French friends took a fantastic reaction from a crowd which thinned out as the second act got into their set. Why they were even on the bill I don’t know as I discovered they had only played one show in the last year.
It made our job a little easier as following ‘Lazuli’ means you really have to up your game from the start. By the time we went on the 1000 strong crowd were waiting for us.
Having a working voice again and a virus on the run filled me with confidence and I was moving and dancing with a relevant fluidity I hadn’t had for a week or so. I was careful not to overstretch the chords, guarding against hanging around in the big notes too much. I was still missing a bit of range and crackled a bit ‘up top’ but nobody really noticed apart from me.
Alastair did another great job in a difficult room that had a lot of reflective surfaces including a wooden wall the entire length of the room facing the stage. He’s proving quite an asset to the circus and I have an on stage sound that is really helping me sing with a new confidence.
‘Misplaced’ as always was a diamond and the crowd were with us all the way lifting me out of the depression of the last few days as I had genuine worries about whether I could pull it back. The decision to pull Bielska Biala, Rendsberg and Haltern had been the correct one in the long run and I sit here in Nuremberg with a voice at close to 95%. I know this doesn’t make the fans who missed out on those shows feel much better but I will be back in April next year to fulfill those dates and with fingers tightly crossed I am over this lurgy, the worst I have had for many years, and all things going well will see out this tour in style.
I’ll write up more tomorrow in Munich as today has been taken up with reorganising meds and bags after a long sleep in the depths of the bunk. Waking up early I felt I’d been wired in as it was the first day that I was practically lurgy free. Long may it continue.
Arrived at ‘Backstage’ here in Munich to discover that our mates #TheBlackStarRiders are playing in the venue next to ours. Wonderfully cool to be able to say ‘not seen you since Marrakesh’ smile emoticon
Great to catch up with my good friend #RickyWarwick again and share road stories. Beautiful guy, first thing he did was mention the Hibs win last night against Livingstone. smile emoticon
Both gutted we are playing at the same time and missing each others gigs. Looks like we will be crossing paths in the UK next month as they are on tour with Joe Elliot.
Absolute sweat box last night in Nuremberg that had me struggling a bit at the end of the set as the heat drained me and tired my voice out. It was a brilliant crowd that kept me going as I started to wilt at the end of ‘Misplaced’. Not what you need while still getting back to full strength and I was a little bit worried this morning when I woke up in the bunk still a bit weak from the previous nights exertions.
Happy to say soundcheck went well and apart from a bit tiredness in the top end the voice is fine. 2 days off after tonight and I head to my lady and her family in Durlach straight after the show for some much needed rest and recuperation before we move into some demanding scheduling.
With the next 3 gigs within easy driving distances from Karlsruhe I’ll be taking advantage of a real bed and being chauffeured by my good mate Sven who’s staying with his family outside the city on the next run of shows.
The days off give me a chance to catch up with blogs on the balcony and get my laundry done ( Tara’s already given me hers to sort out as well) and most importantly rack up some deep zeds and fully recover from what has been the worst dose of lurgy I’ve had for a very long time.
Looking forward to tonight here in Munich, best numbers here I’ve had for years.
( Munich was an outstanding show and I am getting the best numbers and reactions there that I have done for a very long time. It used to be a tough crowd even back in the Marillion days but ‘Feast’ and this tour have definitely given me a strong footing here)
(Pratteln was yet another biggie with over 1000 in, my best numbers there ever. If Munich was 8.8/10 then this was a 9/10 with a fantastic crowd who delivered us an incredible reaction. I drove back to Durlach with Sven, Simone and Liam after the show arriving early hours of the morning. I’d spent the previous 2 days off there mostly on my back in bed as the last of the virus broke and left my system. Intended blogs were missed as I continued to recover. Next day in Mannheim I found out that the Facebook pages had been hacked and I was unable to post anything while my account was recovered)
Back again after some troll hacked the Fish pages for it appears no other reason than out of sheer badness. I logged on in Mannheim backstage to find a bunch of notifications from Facebook that some alleged female in Columbia USA had got into the pages and changed passwords etc taking them offline. It was a bit of a pisser and I lost Messenger on a night when a lot of friends from Durlach were trying to contact me re the gig. All sorted again and security updated so hopefully no more unwanted intrusions.
The Mannheim gig was special and the 1200 crowd in a sold out venue were brilliant giving both Lazuli and I a fantastic night on stage. My boys were on fine form and as always ‘Misplaced’ was special.
I’d been taking advantage of short distances between gigs with Durlach in the epicentre to travel back and forth from Simone’s flat and racking up the zeds in a static bed. It’s really helped me recover and get back to full fitness. The intended blogs got lost as I slept most of the time in between catching up on “I’m a Celebrity Get me out of Here” and eating pizza in front of the TV with rationed white wine in a surreal domestic state.
The show is a big favourite of Steve Vantsis and I especially as my good mate #TonyHadley is in the jungle this time. Looking forward to when they get the bevvy into camp as big Tone must be well thirsty by now ! wink emoticon It helps break the backstage boredom and our catering is supremely better than theirs smile emoticon
In Stuttgart tonight with a day off tomorrow in Oldenburg fully deserved after 3 shows in a row. If tonight is as good as Pratteln and Manheim I’ll be a happy boy with over a 1000 people every night and riding a wave of great reviews.
Back on the bus later for the long trek North and I’ll have time on my hands to write up some stories tomorrow and the next day.
We’ve passed the half way marker now with only 2 more German shows before the home run through Holland and the UK with every one of those shows sold out apart from Sheffield where there are only a few tickets left. We are all buzzing on the vibes.
Day off in Oldenburg yesterday after a tremendous show in Stuttgart.I’d stayed over in Durlach after the glory that was the Mannheim gig to get my last night on the Balcony until I return in January and the last time I’d see Simone until she comes over with the kids for the Glasgow show. My chauffeurs Michael and Sven picked me up in the afternoon and we drove the hour or so down to the Longhorn, a venue I hadn’t played for years.
I was reminded of how long ago it was by the promoter who pointed out the broken plexiglass round the DJ booth. When I still had decent knees we had played football in the empty gig pre soundcheck and a misplaced shot had cannoned off the glass and broke it. Slightly embarrassed smiles at the memory but the promoter laughed, he was happy to have me back.
It was good to be in the Longhorn again and playing to over 1100 fans in what would later be a bouncing venue as we played a tight and powerful set with a great comedy moment as I recounted my stage trousers splitting in the Martin Schleyer Halle back in 85 during dipping movements in the “ooh wah” section of ‘Incubus’. One of the most embarrassing stage moments I can recall which left my tackle in the fresh air and only a patch of material between them and the 12000 crowd, my ass cheeks like a pink peach for all the band and crew to see. A decision not to wear underpants after discovering the only pair I had with me that day were stripey and showed through the stretchy white material of the Puma jogging trousers I wore back then proved costly for me but hilarious for everyone else especially Tony my ‘wardrobe guy’ who was on the floor laughing and incapable of helping me .A long solo from Steve Rothery came to my rescue and allowed me time to get to the dressing room and change. I can laugh about it now but back then it was traumatic!.
The story gave me a great introduction to ‘Misplaced’ which was greeted with a huge roar of approval by one of the finest audiences I’ve had there.The gig was a massive success and I was pleased to have a decent voice after this run of 3 gigs and 6 now since the worrying lurgy attack 9 days previously.
A rousing ‘Company’ and a mass ballet dance rounded of a successful night and my knees were aching as I climbed the open stairs up to the dressing room area waving at the crowd who knew I had put a shift in. I was a bit more sprightly last time when I still had football playing legs.
A long drive north on the bus and a return to my bunk for the first time in 8 days. A relatively early night and a midday rise to trundle through the streets of Oldenburg to the hotel 15 mins away in the rain and bitterly cold North Sea wind dragging all my cases and bags. I spent the day in my room catching up on a pile of e mails and calls and prodding the FB pages before I met up with some of the circus troupe to head into the old town for something to eat.
We discovered our first Weinachtsmarkt of the tour and a feeling of Christmas ebbed into the team. A great Italian meal and then a last chance gluhwein just as the markt closed for the night at 9 ‘clock. It was still early. As we dawdled back to the hotel the glittering lights of a Mexican restaurant in the centre of a road crossing threw temptation in our path and I suggested a nightcap to the team as there didn’t seem to be any other bars in the vicinity.
And that was how Tara, Angus, Dominic,Alastair and I ended up getting slightly trashed on tequilas and wearing Mexican hats on one of our best nights out on a day off this tour. A mixture of the aforesaid tequilas and various cocktails put paid to us all with Aliastair, still sporting a black eye from the last time he bounced off a bathroom towel rail after throwing up with the lurgy, definitely the worse for wear. He ended up in the hotel dropping his 3 week old i phone 6 outside the elevator, smashing the screen to smithereens and heading to the unlocked corridor fridge for beers for those who still wanted to further descend into oblivion. I declined the offer and was in my room with a bottle of wine watching ‘I’m a Celebrity’ until my batteries finally discharged around 1am. I prefer room based endings to my excursions these days as falling into bed is better than head scratching drunken wobbly wanderings trying to find the hotel. It feels slightly more civilised and incurs less bruising.
A great sleep I amazingly woke up feeling quite fresh and vibrant this morning and the return with baggage through the streets to the bus seemed less of an ordeal.
Tonight is sold out but and we have a tight stage and a seated audience for the first time this tour. It’s only 500 people but the venue has a good vibe and as a theatre is perfect for a frontman.
After show is another huge drive back down south to Saarbrucken. ( Dominic , our agent has already apologised for a tour that looks like it was put together using darts on a map of Germany) then a day off before crashing into Holland.
Everybody is relatively healthy and last night provided no casualties. There’s a stomach bug doing the rounds but compared to the plague we endured recently it’s trivial. Our only MIA is Yatta who left us in Stuttgart to go home to deal with some family issues. It’s weird texting him the gig results and getting his updates from home. He’s back with us in Groningen. We all miss him but Dominic is doing an admirable job as stand in production manager.
Spirits are high and everyone is well aware that we are on the homeward stretch with the UK just down the road a bit. I’m taking no chances and developing an addiction to lemon, ginger and honey teas. Another hole to be drilled in my belt soon. Happy days!
Brilliant gig in Gdansk last night! One of the best venues I’ve played in Poland. the Stary Manez club is beautifully designed with great acoustics and unlike the arena in Szczecin the crowd were on display on the floor and a surrounding balcony making the contact so much easier than the dark bowels of a sports hall.
‘Lazuli’ again delivered a powerful show and we have to keep our game up to follow them.We hit the stage in a high gear and ‘Pipeline’ got the place bouncing before a rampant ‘Feast’. Sound and lights were great and we reveled onstage playing a stand out show to a very receptive audience.
Although I cannot speak Polish slow careful deliveries of introductions seemed to hit the mark and ‘Perception’ in particular was a bit inspired. I recounted some old history with the city from 87 and took the opportunity to take cameras off the photographers in the pit and turn the tables handing them the mike so they could pose while I took shots of them.
As always everyone was waiting on ‘Misplaced’ and we didn’t disappoint.It’s just so inspiring to play and the entire album just glides effortlessly along a wonderful curve.It goes by so fast I sometimes wonder if we have played a short set and I’ve sometimes checked my watch as I walk off after ‘Feather’ to make sure. By the time we delivered an energised ‘Market Square’ and a rousing ‘Company it was 2 hours on stage last night as I took the opportunity of having a full communion with an attentive crowd to explore the intros more than I normally would do.
I genuinely wish I could speak the lingo and admit it’s frustrating but I just can’t get my head round the language. I just try to find the balance in the intros, keeping them simple and short enough and employing a few bits of visual comedy like the camera turnaround to get over the language barrier. It seems to work and the music speaks for itself.
The hot shower after show was exquisite. It’s far removed from our early forays in Poland where venues were quite dismal and lacking in the basics. I can remember having cold showers for 3 straight days in what seemed to be abandoned factories and eating the infamous ‘donkey dick in breadcrumbs’ with 5 colours of cabbage from a polystyrene box. The dinner pre show in a local hotel added to the components of a fine day.
I walked back from dinner on my own to the venue through a magical landscaped area that had been created by the developer who had financed the new purpose built venue from the shell of what had been an indoor training area for cavalry horses. All the derelict army barracks around the venue were being renovated and turned into student accommodation and I was mightily impressed and pleased that this historical area was being brought back to life and not just demolished and turned into modern flats. I shot some footage on the phone for Angus and I to include in the back screen projections we are building on tour as we go along. It’s our little project on days off now.
After show the pizza arrived and we splashed a few glasses of wine together before heading to the bus signing autographs with happy fans on the way out. Best gig in Poland so far and if Warsaw tonight is as good we will all be happy campers.
I’m sure we won’t be disappointed
Smiling in Zoetermeer on a hotel day off before the first of 2 sold out shows at the Boorderij. We arrived after a long haul from Liverpool through lumps of fog in Belgium to a sunny Netherlands.
Have to say that the sleep was intermittent as Simone and I had to share a bunk because spares were taken up by our ‘double driver’. her son Liam, who’s joined us on school holidays and a much needed ‘junk bunk’ as the bus is crammed.
Needles to say my restlessness had nothing to do with romance in a tight space rather a body that felt like it was broken.
As you know I’ve been having problems in recent months with a shoulder tendon injury and a bulging L5 disc that’s trapping a nerve causing me terrible sciatica and back pain. It tends to come and go but hits me if I am standing for a long period. It decided to visit me last night on stage in Liverpool just around ‘Threshold’ and it felt like I had completely popped the disc. I was in agony for the last 20 minutes or so and ‘ Childhood’s End’ was excruciating to perform.The irony is my voice is the best it’s been for a while and I was enjoying belting it out last night despite the intense heat on stage that made breathing difficult and had me drenched from about the second song into the set.
The ‘Lazuli’ boys had warned me before I went on and I had to acclimatise quickly. I was necking water constantly throughout the gig and really taking care of my breathing, not squeezing notes and straining.
It was all going well until ‘Kayleigh’ when the kebab I’d eaten as my ‘hearty dinner’ more than 2 hours before stage time decided to revisit me on top of all the water I’d drunk. Just as I started to sing the chorus my mouth filled with chunks and bile and I had to quickly try and swallow to keep it down and the song in place. I felt the acid and the chilli bite my chords and I choked, missing out some words before recovering. A couple of heavy duty gargles were needed to clear me up and wash the chords.It threw me and I decided to let the keyboards on ‘Lavender’ run an extra sequence before starting singing again.
I was blown away when the audience took control and the entire crowd started singing on the correct entry point. I gave up with a smile and joined in with them. I have to admit it was a high emotional point and the entire album was celebrated by a fantastic reaction that blew us away when we finally drew ‘White Feather’ to a close with the finest sing along of the year so far.
It was a very different vibe to the previous show here which had been like playing the ‘Gremlin’s Bar’ as it was so unruly and impossible to control. I was actually a bit thrown on my first introduction after ‘Feast’ and before ‘Long Cold Day’ and had anticipated trouble.It was exactly the opposite and although there was a hell of a lot of talking in the auditorium there weren’t the barrage of drunken heckling I’d expected.Everything settled own after that and both ‘Family Business’ and ‘Perception’ got great receptions.
The introduction to ‘Misplaced’ and the dedication to Mylo made it all a bit more special and I was very aware of this being the final performance of the album in Liverpool. It was altogether inspiring.
I was worried when my back gave way and left the stage after ‘Misplaced’ a very concerned singer. ‘Market Square ‘ was a trial for me. The crowd were again brilliant and uplifting , in great voice and full of energy. Standing side of stage after that reaction I felt terrible. There as no way I could dance ‘The Company’ and I wasn’t even sure if I could sing it on my feet.
The crowd wanted more and I had to deliver something. Just then my trusty Vince delivered a stool centre stage and I sat down as the Val Doonican of Prog and sang my heart out to an appreciative audience dancing from the waist down!
Backstage I was in agony and Simone laid into my back with a massage machine that took away the edge of the pain after about 10 minutes lying on the dressing room floor. It all clicked back into place and some Voltarol and Ibruprofen and a hot shower got me back into a decent upright position. Luckily I’ve already anticipated the ongoing problem and a good friend of mine over here who’s a back specialist has set up appointments for me to have injections that should bring things under control and see me through the tour. (We tried to steal the stool from the O2 but Vince was caught red handed smile emoticon )
Liverpool was the first night for our new sound engineer Alistair Lindsay who joined us on recommendation from Andy Williamson, my out front guy from the ‘Suits’ tour. I had decided to make a change during the summer and felt that the sound needed ‘refreshing’. Shaun Rogers had been with me for a long time and had done a great job for me in the past. For various reasons I felt that these final indoor shows needed something different out front and onstage and Shaun had been told during the German festivals that the Dalkeith show was his last outing.
It was a difficult decision for me to make and for Shaun to take after so many years. Partings like this are never easy as I know he had built a lot of great relationships with fans over the years. I sincerely appreciate what he’s done for me in the past and he’s been a loyal member of the crew and a good friend providing a lot of laughter out here on our road trips. I know he will find another position with another band and I’m sure he’ll bring something special to someone else s party. I wish him all the best and I’m sure a lot of you like me will retain happy memories of times spent together.
Alistair stepped into 2 difficult shows, his first in ‘Hell’ in Norway and last night in the O2 where judging from comments he did really well despite the pressures of working in a reverberating sweat box that robbed a lot of high end frequencies ( sweat was dripping onto my head on stage from the ceiling) and made mixing very awkward. With 2 nights at the Boorderij coming at us I am sure he will get to grips with the set up and the mixes very quickly and we are all confident that he can deliver some great quality out front sound. He’s very nervous having only been in our company in the Circus or a few days and I hope you’ll give him a welcome if you come across him. We are all looking forward to working with him.
And so it begins. Darkness falls in Zoetermeer and I have discovered I have a live radio interview with a local station tonight at 8pm. Shower and back massage now then a cheeky wee Savvy before venturing out. The circus is back in town.
The dust is settling on the Summer season and I’m gradually re balancing myself and finding my domestic feet. Although there is still the Hellfest show in Trondheim in October I’m staring at a 5 week stint dealing with a mosaic of a “to-do” list that’s had me out in the garden the last few days since the Dalkeith gig taking advantage of some decent weather to get some autumn prep done. Today the chainsaw was out to take down stems of a hornbeam tree that has been overshadowing the greenhouse. It took quite a while to get back to grips with dismantling and reassembling the saw and sharpening up.I’m always very respectful of the chainsaw and methodical when operating it and after a long lay off it was a slow deliberate process taking down the wood.
I’d been reminded of my past career on Saturday at Dalkeith estate where I worked for a short time in the woodland nursery as an assistant forester back in 1980 during my middle year from Newtonrigg college in Penrith where I was studying an OND in forestry. . This was just as I started singing with my first band “Blewitt” in Galashiels and about to make the big jump that summer into the music business.
The stage was directly in front of Dalkeith Palace in what I knew as the “Dukes” estate.I used to run around in the woods and down by the Esk river that flows through it and had wonderful adventures there as a young boy. Coming back to Dalkeith to perform ‘Misplaced Childhood’ there on it’s final UK open air outing was therefore always going to be an emotional experience.
I hardly recognised the place these days and arrived late afternoon to be met by the estate manager and the woodland manager of the Buccleuch estates who’d invited me to plant a tree to mark the occasion.Thankfully they’d saved me the back ache and dug the hole in which I planted a young Sequoia tree and was complimented on my technique! It seemed apt to be sticking a Giant Redwood in the ground on the day and I was quite proud to be asked in all honesty.
The planting helped break up the wait till showtime as did the short walk up to the high street where I saw my Dad’s old garage, Dick Bros on the New Edinburgh Road ( also known as “Dickie’s Brae”) from which I’d named my first independent record label. It was all very different but I still felt the memories creep in as I sauntered past old haunts.
I was slightly nervous not really knowing how I would react on stage. The sound up there was not what I’d hoped for and we started with “Pipeline”, the keyboards drowning out everything in my monitors.There was no point in getting finicky and I just had to get the engineer to adjust as much as he could by using hand signs. The sound wasn’t helped by the fact that the staging was a plastic shell that had mushed a lot of frequencies up.
The crowd were into it from the start and the 5000 that were there were more than the organisers had hoped for. When we started “Misplaced” it was obvious a large proportion had come to see this performance which as it unwound took me through some high emotions that had me choking a couple of times as memories intruded.
“Heart of Lothian” was awesome and passionate the crowd ignited.It was made even more special than normal because of the location and there was a huge roar as it closed.
By the time we hit “Childhoods End” the field was ours with “Market Square” riotous and a sea of hands before us signaling we had done the job and fulfilled a lot of people’s expectations.
It was a strange feeling coming off stage and sitting in the dressing room. I find it difficult to explain even now.There was a definite sense of ending and also of a new beginning.
I didn’t want to hang around and left shortly after the “Fratellis” started their set. A lot of handshakes on the way to the transport and we drove out of the “Dukes” gates leaving something behind me that I had known I had to achieve on the night. I felt I was saying goodbye to something but there was no sadness in me.
The studio emptied around midnight and Steve Vantsis and I sat alone in the control room with another bottle of wine dealing with the come down, the others retired to their hotel in Haddington or on the Clown Carrier to Wales. Sunday would be a hangover in many ways within the circus.
Steve drove home late afternoon and I was alone again staring at the fire with a barrowload of issues to deal with in the coming week. There were some long overdue changes due and on Sunday night I was preparing to face up to new challenges and demands.
I am still trying to get my head round writing up the sleeve notes for ‘Fellini Days’ and ‘Field of Crows’. To be honest I have been procrastinating as to delve into those years is quite painful and I have to write up a period that takes in my first divorce, the financial meltdown, losing the house and a lot of other dark moments that are inextricably linked with the albums and the lyrics.
‘Sunsets’ and ‘Raingods’ are pretty much ready to go into production and they will be available on the tour but whether I can get the next 2 up and running is another question and I have some finger bleeding typing sessions coming at me.
As I said the garden needed nurturing and as I pretty much got on top of it with Rab the last few days I’m facing up to starting the writing this weekend.
I’m preparing for what is supposed to be the worst winter since 1963 and it looks like my touring schedules will just miss the beginning of it all.There’s road patching to be done here, fences to be erected and a wood pile to be built. I need to get everything in order and set up in the weeks I have left before the circus hits the road.
For now I’m gorging on a mass of home grown vegetables, looking forward to making my first horseradish sauce tomorrow from tubers in the plot, all the outside containers have been dosed with nematodes to wipe out the vine weevil larvae, the globe artichokes cut down, the winter brassicas in their beds, the garlic and onion sets arriving next week, the lavender and reams of hedges to be cut back, the orchard to be pruned and the ground rotavated to allow the sowing of a new wildflower meadow to feed the bees that will inhabit the new hives I hope to get next summer.
And all this while listening to the new remasters and scribbling away on an ever expanding to do list that will take me into the ‘Weltschmerz’ writing sessions that will begin early next year.
And in all that there is the tour that looks like it is potentially the most exciting and successful that I have been on in years.
It’s hectic, stressful, demanding and sometimes overwhelming but I like it that way.
Arriving in Durlach after the maelstrom of the post tour holiday period that was fraught with organisational responsibilities and the delightful pressure of playing host to Simone’s mother and partner was a welcome respite. It was the first time our parents met and we both recognised the further coming together of our respective worlds. Although we had a quiet New Year together mostly spent in our own company after her mother returned to Karlsruhe on the 30th I was still coming down from a tour and in a slightly confused state.
I found myself still disorientated and with an unemptied suitcase in my bedroom which was still in my mind a hotel room waiting to be checked out of. I was still leaning with my head against the wall in the toilet when I had a pee as I had done for weeks on the moving bus as that was the way to steady myself and not create unwanted spillage. Getting back into domestic routine was proving difficult and watching TV until after 2, devouring movies and catching up on endless recordings, my want. Wine flowed too freely but the kitchen became an obsession as we cooked and ate heartily and the lurgy with attendant lung racking coughing up of evil phlegm receded in the face of decent and regular food. It seemed too short before we got the taxi to the airport and the flight to Frankfurt on the 2nd January.
Sausages and beers on the trains to Karlsruhe signed us in to the next residence and we got to the flat in Aue courtesy of a pick up from Simone’s eldest daughter Tara who arrived at the hauptbahnof with Borgie the Irish wolfhound and a plateful of home cooked fudge she had made for me from a cookbook I’d given her for her birthday and which she had used to good effect for my Christmas present! The next few days we treated as holidays from the World and I took up residence on the balcony once again. We didn’t need a fridge to chill the wine and I loved staring at the stars above the valley in the wee hours as the frost dropped in.
Ideas were forming in the darkness and plans were afoot.
Simone’s other daughter Mona was staying with us, as much as teenager’s with overcrowded social diaries do, while Tara stayed with her father who still had her youngest ,son, Liam in Poland with him snow boarding and skiing. It left Simone and I a welcome near empty house for a few days.
It kicked off on the Monday when Simone went to work and I was left with a full beam on to business on the laptop and the office phone here.
Yatta was churned up with the European rescheduling, the previous accounts and the ongoing insurance claim, so I stepped into the gap and took point on setting up the summer. It proved fruitful and some early breaks got my spirits high. Like putting together a jigsaw puzzle with other players working on similar puzzles, all of the pieces in the same pile and all of us vying to finish before the other and doing deals on exchanges of bits in order to complete the picture for the summer.
Some e mails went disturbingly unanswered, others closing quickly. I could only cast the lines with what I thought was the correct bait and hope my intended catches would bite and I could land what I needed to thread the summer together into a concise, consecutive and viable routing that Yatta would have to verify and we as a circus could feed off. I used to do this in the old days and was having to get to grips with hunter and gathering again pretty quickly as Yatta was close to being overwhelmed with responsibilities. It was working and by close of day at the end of the first week between us we’d doubled our tally of possibilities and beyond!
I was working hard and playing hard and with a return of family to the flat they were bemused by my eternal phone calls and engrossment with typing on my laptop. The bottle bank was visited more regularly than they expected on normal visitations and eyebrows were raised somewhat. I was in “battle” mode, rising late, typing manically and fervently and occasionally raised voiced as the puzzles began to get solved.
An evening with “Bucchi”, aptly named as booker of the Sean Tracey band where I decamped a bottle of fine whisky with him while discussing touring scenarios didn’t ingratiate myself with Simone’s kids but led to a major rethink about my position here in a future life in Germany. It also led to my involvement a few nights later when I took to the stage at the Jubez in Karlsruhe to perform “Feast of Consequences” and “Sugar Mice” to a highly appreciative audience!
The dog walks with Simone’s Irish wolfhound, Borgie gave me time to think on my own and after the gig we had to de socialise and return home so he could take me out, the strangest thing I can ever remember as a come down from a show. I’ve been loving the solitude of walking with him at nights and during the day as Simone works at her mothers shop in the city despite the pouring freezing rain interspersed with sharp sunshine and lung filling wind that clears my sometimes bleary mind.
The ” cunning plan” changed, I have an idea for a novel based on my balcony experiences and overall the time here has been searingly productive.
The funniest thing was that when I talked to my mother the other day I responded to a comment she made by saying “Genau” which in German means exactly. I have found myself actually dreaming in German these last few nights! Maybe it’s just the time spent here, maybe it’s watching “House of Cards” with German subtitles on our empty dark Winter nights and continuing to absorb the language. I do feel a lot more comfortable here these days and find myself thinking in the language rather than translating between the two when I have conversations.
I’ve been reading the Cormac McCarthy “Border trilogy” novels these last few weeks in moments of pause and loved his use of Spanish within the dialogue. Maybe it’s had a subliminal influence but I have to say there’s a huge input to experiences over here and a massive addition to observation that has sown the seeds for something more different and bigger than I thought. The finest writing I have read for a very very long time
The lines are still in an ever flowing deep stream and my concentration on developments is sharp with my reactions trigger ready. I cut myself off from a World of madness and focus. I can only deal with matters in front of me, the rest I have no control over. I deal with the moment.
He moved from the perimeter of the crowd and stood next to the fire blazing away on the sand in the ring of stones and stared at the flames with wide wet eyes. Around him were seated parents with young families on wooden cubes in a rough circle,eyes wincing at the swirling smoke and some shielding their faces from the searing heat as the chill wind picked up the flames. Around us the weihnachtsmarkt was in full swing.
We’d noticed him earlier in the supermarket buying batteries which were obviously for a camera that he was now holding half in and half out his pocket as if he wasn’t sure to take a photograph of the fire or not. He’d apologised to the cashier as he had broken the seal on a multi pack as he didn’t want them all and was embarrassed when he realised that he shouldn’t have done that. At first I’d thought he was drunk but then realised he was slightly mentally handicapped and was struggling to understand what was going on and what to do. The manageress was a bit annoyed but was sympathetic and put him at ease, she knew him.I watched him slowly shuffle out the supermarket clutching his small bag of loose batteries.He looked lost.
And then here he was again, standing close to the fire, on his own in the circle, staring at the crackling flames with wide wet eyes under his military cap, hands fumbling at the small red camera. He stared at the families and the young children and I felt an overwhelming urge to tell him everything was ok as he evoked a deep sadness and loneliness in his face. Nobody else seemed to notice him as he stood there and I wondered if I was seeing a ghost. A young man, mid twenties,medium height, a drab green jacket and jeans and that lost look, it was if he wasn’t there for anyone but me to see. I turned to Simone who was drinking her gluhwein and talking to friends behind me and I mentioned that it was the guy we had seen in the supermarket.She too identified him and before I could say anything else I turned around and he was gone. I don’t know what it was but I felt I had to talk to him. I left my honey wine and set off into the crowd to find him.
The soft thud of arrows into straw filled targets at the archery range drew me but there was no sign of him in the queues of young children and teenagers waiting their turn to try their luck and impress their friends. The racks of longbows in the stall nearby a lure for adventure seekers with large wallets.
A hand turned carousel with small children in wooden swings at the end of ever tightening ropes screaming “schneller, schneller”, the spinning circle going ever higher as the lean faced, sharp nosed large elf with pointed hat and sewn on pointed ears did their bidding and turned the wheel with all his might. The smoke and dancing sparks from the nearby braziers added a demonic feel to the scene. My sad friend was nowhere to be found.
I came back to the fire and sat down next to Simone to nurse another honey wine, my feet warming in the sand by the glowing embers. I was disappointed I hadn’t met him and couldn’t quite explain why. The carousel was turning again with a new batch of children hurtling in the darkness their screams and laughter echoing under the old castle walls. We decided to head home.
We stopped by the open air stage to catch a number from the suitably medieval costumed 3 piece band. The fiddle player announced their next song as ” Jacobite by Name”. Perhaps historically inaccurate for the period but an old Scottish song never the same and the coincidence couldn’t be ignored.The passion was maybe not quite there in the singing and slightly lost in translation but I still had some goosebumps hearing that song in this place. At the end I took off my hat, waved it in the air and gave them a big cheer which I think surprised them as I was the only one in the crowd that did so. Others in the audience smiled but were obviously bemused at my reaction. The band waved back also unsure of why I was so animated!
And then we met Gunther.
He was standing directly behind us.
I shook his hand and introduced myself and Simone and asked him in German if he was ok as he looked so sad and lost.
It turned out he’d just recently got out of hospital after being badly mauled by his neighbour’s bull mastiff. He told us he was glad because he could have had his little neice with him at the time and if so she could have been killed. It transpired he was trying to move house to get away from this neighbour and the dog as the police had done nothing. The story unravelled and I think he was just glad someone had talked to him. He was a lovely harmless guy and after a few minutes a smile appeared on his face and he was obviously happy. He said he was having a great night and enjoying himself for the first time in a while. We all shook hands again said our farewells, wished each other a happy Christmas and disappeared into our nights. I still don’t know why I felt this urge to contact but after talking to him it just felt the right thing to do.
Sometimes this carousel of a world we live in spins so fast we stop noticing things that are maybe sometimes important to us and others or maybe just beautiful moments to be shared with perfect strangers that we just don’t recognise in the blur of it all. I like when it all slows down and you can start to make sense of yourself and your surroundings and get the perspective back on where you are and where you should be going. The carousel is an exciting ride for a while but it has to stop eventually and there is something reassuring about having your feet back on the ground again.
I could still smell the woodsmoke in Simone’s hair as we walked through the empty streets by the Basel Tor and past the old cemetery, the honey wine glowing in my head. The shadows were still dancing under the ancient parapets of the castle.